What a week!

So, the plan is to cover a few points tonight. We'll see how far I make it! lol

1. This has been a major week for James. Sunday he said "dada" and Monday he took his first crawling 'steps!' Yay to two major milestones! I have to say I was more than a little excited, and to make it even better is that we were on Skype with Will when James started his crawling!! Last year, Will was very nonchalant about missing James' first year, but I know it has bothered him that he has missed some pretty major milestones, and most likely will miss a lot more in the next few months. But, I also know it was a major thing that he got to see that one milestone! I hope it made it a little easier being away!

2. I started P90X this week. Today was day 3 and I am so sore! I have muscles hurting that I didn't know existed. But this is the first time I have done an at-home, video type workout and even finished the first day, non-the-less continued into 3 days and am still excited about it! I think the major factor is that I don't feel silly doing it! So, I am still excited about it and hope I continue to be, seeing as I still have 87 days to go! lol

But, the biggest thing is the reasoning behind doing it. I am not looking to lose weight or anything, rather to tone up and get back into shape. I don't like how weak I feel all the time and want back that overall feeling I had back in college when I was working out regularly! Maybe I'll even get to a place where I actually like working out!!

3. I think I've mentioned before that living in the military community brings you together in a way most civilians don't get. I have friends who I haven't talked to in years, but they still matter to me, because once we were friends and helped each other get through some hard times. Because of the special bond developed between military wives, when something bad happens to a friend, even one you haven't talked to in years, you still feel pain for them.

Today, I found out a friend from our days in Germany lost her husband in Afghanistan this week. I didn't really know her husband, just met him a few times, but he seemed like a nice and reserved guy. I haven't talked to her since we left Germany almost 4 years ago. And now she is dealing with having to raise their two young kids on her own and live the rest of her life without her other half. My heart goes out to her and their family in this trying time.

But, I'm a big enough person to admit, but it is a very serious reminder that even when not being shot at, my husband is not safe while in his deployment. No matter how much I play off that he's in Iraq and that's not a 'real' deployment anymore, the fact is, that he is still at risk. So far his brigade has lost 7 people this deployment, the last five were asleep in their rooms, not out on a mission. Its scary having to deal with this fear on a daily basis. So, for me, I get through by ignoring the fear and believing "it won't happen to me!" (Which after John died, I learned very quickly, that's not true!) But, if I don't think about it, I'll make it with a minimum amount of breakdowns! And thus, far it has worked. Until days like today where I am Gibbs slapped back into reality and the harsh truth of what my husband faces daily is dropped like a glass of ice water right down my back!

So, for tonight, I will be an emotional mess, going back and forth between amazed at how quickly my children are growing and excited to see what they'll do next, to scared and sad worrying over my husband's safety. But hey, that's why I say its the Crazy Life of an Army Wife! And tomorrow, when the boys wake up, I will put my smile on and we will go about our day, as we count down one less day before Daddy is safely home where he belongs!